The world has Joe Biden to thank tonight for taking our minds off the political season so in evidence at the moment. Biden called a young woman questioner a “lying dog-faced pony soldier.” In jest, of course.

Still, many wondered “What the hell was Joe Biden thinking, calling a young woman ‘dog-faced’?”

In a relatively nimble response, considering the lengths they’re asked to go by their candidate on a regular basis these days, Biden’s campaign tweeted that “lying dog-faced pony soldiers,” is a reference to a line in an old John Wayne movie called “The Horse Soldiers.”

 

Even so, controversy ensued. Some claimed that like “Play it again, Sam,” a line nobody says in “Casablanca,” “dog-faced pony soldier” is never uttered in “The Horse Soldiers.”

Still, no one has so far stepped forward to volunteer to watch the entire two-hour John Ford-directed epic, even though it’s available free online, starring what the movie’s trailer calls “the screen’s two top stars in their most outstanding roles.”

Those “two top stars,” for those wondering, are identified as John Wayne and William Holden.

Of course, for Mr. Biden, therein lies the problem, which no amount of tap-dancing can fix.

 

Stop beating dead horses

But rather than beat a dead horse, or dead ponies, we should celebrate the fact that “lying dog-faced pony soldiers” have finally gotten their due and taken their rightful place among America’s fractured electorate.

The movie’s minute-and-a-half-long trailer only seems to take longer.

 

There’s another movie which may contain Joe Biden’s brother’s mis-remembered line, argues Slate,  “Pony Soldier,” a 1952 western starring Tyrone Power as a member of the Royal Canadian Mounted Police.

However, as our effete liberal press should know, “Real men don’t wear red.”

 

Finally, the trailer for “The Horse Soldiers” fails to mention the third star receiving top billing in the film. And (wouldn’t you know it) it’s a woman, named Constance Towers, an accomplished actress and star of both stage and screen.

We found several publicity stills of Ms. Towers, which we offer as an homage to America’s golden age of cinema.

 

You’re welcome.